Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
