He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
