dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
