I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
