You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
