Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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