Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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