I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize