It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
