I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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