when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
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In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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