you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
