So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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