tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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