How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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