I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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