I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
