Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
