I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We are all done wearing pants today
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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