Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
