you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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