Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
