TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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