im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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