my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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