Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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