Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
