We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
