Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
