Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
