i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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