So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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