the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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