Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
