I love black thongs
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Even my vagina gasped.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
