U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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