Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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