It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I touched a dick in church today
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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