Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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