I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
