Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
