she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
tell me about the fingering
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