Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
