I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im six kinds of drunk right now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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