We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
