mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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