i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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