I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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