I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you had me at cake vodka
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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