wake up i wanna do it froggy style
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.