Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.