Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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