I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.