I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways