Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?