I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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