dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
