i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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