Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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