I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize