I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
3pm strippers are depressing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
