are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
