My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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