His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize